


Spoils of Victory

by Mercurie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 100-1000 Words, Angst, Community: spnkink_meme, Future Fic, Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-25
Updated: 2010-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-06 16:39:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercurie/pseuds/Mercurie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even his body prefers Castiel, prefers to be Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spoils of Victory

**Author's Note:**

> Written for kink meme prompt: Dean/Jimmy: Lucifer is dead the angel's are gone and Jimmy doesn't want to leave Dean. Fluff/Angst/Sex whatever. Bottom!Jimmy no Wincest.

He has sense memories. He remembers fucking Dean Winchester. Remembers it all the time: the ache in his flesh, the feeling of waiting for someone. He lurks in peripheries (shadows, edges of groups, eaves of houses), following Dean with his eyes, unwilling to blink until the burning becomes too strong and the whole world grows blurry.

Dean doesn't want Jimmy Novak. He wants Castiel and he doesn't even bother to hide it, doesn't even attempt to stifle his groans of Cas, oh fuck yes, Cas when he's fucking Jimmy. He doesn't try to get Jimmy off, doesn't so much as speak a word to him when he's done, just leaves him wherever they had their latest sordid encounter and goes off to kill something. That's Dean these days: about as much like the old Dean as Jimmy is like Castiel.

Still, Jimmy always goes back. He hates it, hates how it feels. Whatever Cas was, Jimmy's not gay and he's not in love with Dean. He always hated it, he reminds himself; always hated the sex, and hated even more the feeling of being crushed, overwhelmed, hanging onto himself by a spiderweb as Castiel, so much bigger and brighter, crowded him out of his own body. Hated how they both forgot he still existed.

He should be happier now, he thinks. Instead, he's cold and hollow, the empty vessel of something much greater. These days even the lack of pain feels like death, like without it he's nothing but dull, a blank slate. And his body still wants things he doesn't, wants what Cas wanted as if it's not really his body at all. Even his body prefers Castiel, prefers to be Castiel.

So he does what his body remembers, lets Dean fuck him in the mouth and the ass, he even kisses him just like he remembers Cas doing. Sometimes he feels echoes of the pleasure Cas felt, and it makes his revulsion more bitter in response. This is Jimmy Novak without angels, he thinks, this is the world without angels.

He doesn't understand how they defeated the Devil and yet the world is more of a hell than it ever was.


End file.
